Some guys love the chase. The chase is exciting and unpredictable. It can rev up our engine, even give us an ego boost if we conquer.
It can also be chaotic and frustrating. Yet if you ask most men, they will admit to being captivated by chasing after women who played hard to get.
The last minute of this clip epitomizes what it is that stimulates men to chase after women who some may consider, “out of their league.” Tom Cruz’s character didn’t really want the girl, his heart was set on another, but the chase intrigued him; along with the male ego to impress the male heard.
I myself may be in the minority. While I recognize that dating can be compared very much so to a game, it is game I prefer to play by a different set of rules.
I prefer to be straight up and be open, honest and exposed. I have had mixed results with this method, and while I prefer to have a more honest style of game, I have occasionally been caught up in the game and chased after women who played hard to get.
The chase is a competition in many ways. We are competing for the love and affection of a woman who we are immensely drawn to. If we weren’t immensely drawn to them, would wouldn’t bother chasing after them.
We may be competing with other men, or even just ourselves to gain the attention of the women who play hard to get.
Women understand this. Women also understand that their sexuality gives them a certain power over men. Some woman play hard to get to weed out those whom they consider “unworthy” suitors, while others do it just like the men, for the thrill of being chased.
Men can also play hard to get, but it’s hugely lopsided because of the power women have to wield their sexuality over men. There are seven sure-fire ways that a woman who is playing hard to get will keep their male suitors on the edge of their seat, in constant hunt mode:
1. The strategic lowering and raising of the guard.
Some women are masterful at this. They open up and give men just enough of a glimpse of their true inner self and beauty before raising their guard back up. During the brief period of the guard being lowered by a woman, it’s as if we have glimpsed in to the soul of a beautiful piece of artwork. We want more. However the only way to see more is to keep pursing. Closing of the guard makes may frustrate a man, but it also will motivate him to do anything and everything to see the inner beauty of a woman opened up with her guard down more and more.
2. They will have something to offer a man that no other woman can.
Whether this may be intellectual stimulation, sexual, economic or a number of other traits, this adds fuel to our already burning fire. Men who constantly chase after women have had experience. This experience leads them to more easily recognize when a special woman comes along who is worth the battles, the wait and all the frustration that may be associated through the courtship. Some men have different desires and some women have unique traits to offer. When a woman’s unique trait matches what drives a man wild, the pursuit is taken to a whole new level.
3. They will eventually take the lead and set the tone of whatever the current relationship status quo.
While as men, many of us feel the need to exude confidence and control, once a woman is able to take that from a man, a man is dumbfounded. Part of men want the control back. Others find it sexy when they find a women who is confident and knows what she wants and knows how to take it without us men even realizing it. The balance in the relationship has thus shifted. We don’t want it to end, we are now even more attracted to the woman and want to stay in the game at all costs. We tend to become more compliant to all her needs at this point, yet we are not push-overs, we simply want to express our desire to continue the pursuit without exposing too much of our personal feelings at this point.
4. They will give you a special moment that you will want to relive over and over again.
There are very few moments in life that can be duplicated. In fact, I would argue no event can ever be what it was, when it was. When we factor in timing, location, emotions, chemistry, attraction and the heat of the moment, all of those factors can rarely, if ever realign again. However once we experienced a moment that is unforgettable and life-altering, we want more. Not just men, but all humans are guilty of being selfish towards their own happiness. This is not a bad thing, this is a reality. When a woman is able to open a mans eyes or give him an experience one time that he will never forget, he will never forget it! He will fight and claw for an attempt to repeat the event. This is where the power of the woman can be at its height. Men are more reactionary where are women who play hard to get create the action. Give a mouse a cookie….you know the rest.
5. She will tug at your heart strings with sensuality and sexuality one day, and take a step back on other day.
This again keeps us men guessing. We love to feel the burning sensation of passion and to be caught up the moment. We may even receive mixed signals. A woman may be overly sensual and sexual one day and then step back the next. The male mind can’t help but wonder what we did to get this woman to open herself up that day, then to temporarily close it and shut it down the next. We may have even done nothing at all, and it may be a sort of placebo affect of being at the right place at the right time, but we want more.
6. She will make plans for the distant future with us, but plans for tomorrow seem murky at best.
Whatever this woman who now has us firmly within her grip has said to us about a future, we have bought in hook, line and sinker. However we miss the fine print sometimes during our excitement. We yearn for the future but to get to the future we must first get past the present. She may want to travel with us to an exotic location months from now, but tomorrow she is busy doing something else. We dare not push too hard or poke and prod because we don’t want to scare her away before the grande finale. We are hooked. We want to still respect her privacy, yet our minds race with questions such as, “Who is she with? What is she doing? Will she contact me later?” We are virtually fully consumed in the chase and will run it to the very end if we have to at this point.
7. She will be very “strategic” with how she phrases meaningful conversations about the status of the relationship.
Women are much smarter in regards to relationships then men. They know even before we men tell them how we feel about them. One day we may hear such flattering comments such as “I need you” or “I love you,” but other days they may distance themselves physically and emotionally from these statements. We have heard them, we know it’s somewhere buried in their heart, and we have felt the true joy of feeling like we have conquered the chase, yet there is still work to be done. “I love you” one day, may turn in to talks about work and the weather; conversations with no meaning that we could have with anyone the next day. We are confused, yet still hopeful we can continue to chase after this wonderful woman who has captured our heart by this point.
For those men who love a good chase, these seven traits will keep our heads and hearts spinning and forever trying to decipher the coded messages we receive. Many of these trairs are mixed signals, yet we press on because our hearts won’t let us stop. We believe we have found someone special, someone worth all this effort and we are not so easily willing to give up.
Sometimes the chase ends in success and we get the girl at the end. Sometimes it ends in heartbreak and we fail or are beaten by someone else in our race. However the race excited us for the time being, it gave us new insight to the depths and desires of the women who play hard to get that are worth the chase.
Author: Adam Wilkinson
Adam Wilkinson, high school Social Studies teacher by day, freelance writer and free spirit by night. Firm believer in fate and that all things happen for a reason. Worshiper of the sun, ocean and the stars. Lover of tattoos, deep intellectual conversations and meaningful connections with like minded people. A jack-of-all-trades, so to speak. Someone once said of me, “You’re a lot of things, but one thing you never are is boring!” Words spoken from someone whom I’ve had a close bond with most of my life and words that I have always tried to uphold. “Vive intenso!”