I’ve seen those couples. The mismatched couples where I look at the man and say “Wow! How did he ever pull off a girl looking like that?”
Two things immediately rush to my mind. This guy must either be super in bed or he must have one hell of a sense of humor.
Now I mean this not in a way to stroke my own ego but I’ve been told I’m a fairly attractive man. I’ve also been told by many women that I perform well in the sheets. Many of the women who I would consider “out of my league” that made such claims of me are not in my life anymore. So it has boiled my list down in my mind to one thing: sense of humor.
Confidence could also be argued as an immense attention grabber for a woman but humor seems to be something unique that stands out to me. Confidence and humor are also linked in a unique way.
When it comes to relationships, in my recent past I’ve tended to be more serious. I’ve certainly displayed confidence in my work, aspirations and my ability to be a doer; I follow through and do what I say I will do.
Looking back on some of my previous recent failed relationships, I see that I was missing one trait that may have helped sustain or at the very least prolong the relationship. The trait of humor.
Many of you have read some of my works, they normally contain deep thoughts, mindful thinking and life experiences that taught me lessons that I choose to share with the world. One thing I often leave out is humor.
The irony of all this is that when I was in middle school and high school, I was always a nominee for class clown. I would always lose out to someone who was a bit more involved in the school, as I was consider by most as the rebellious and “anti-establishment” (as one of my former ex’s that I had many flings with would say about me) student.
Perhaps it was her lasting thoughts of me of my care-free, humorous “anti-establishment” personality that kept her coming back throughout the years. When I finally lost touch for her good, after about 15 years, my personality had changed and my overall tone was more serious and deep.
In fact in my current relationship that I’m in now, I almost lost her because she too noticed the change that my few recent ex’s picked up on. That being emotional and deep made me this serious guy who felt the need to keep my guard up.
It wasn’t until the true love of my life reminded me that it is humor and a light heart that a man has (of course along with generosity, charm, intelligence, good looks and the ability to grow with a woman) that really attracts her. Everything in parentheses will only get a man so far; rarely to the finish line with a woman.
It took some soul searching and some observations of others around me to realize that most traits a man has that attracts a woman are superficial. They work for a time but what seems to keep a woman’s interest is a good light heart and humor.
Many of us men have heard words along the lines of, “It’s not you, it’s me” or “We aren’t right for each other” when we feel the opposite. In many occasions, we are too deep with our thoughts and actions and it pushes women away. I don’t know Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling, but I’d bet my nickels to your dollars that they have a sense of humor that makes the women in their lives happy.
For the men out there who are frustrated at constantly losing the good ones and letting them slip from our grasp or are nervous about approaching a woman we may feel is out of our league I can make this promise. Try a little well-timed, witty and mindful humor. I guarantee that will open the door and keep it open longer than we could imagine.
“Girls just want to have fun.” They want to laugh and be mentally stimulated. They don’t want the same dry routine every day. Part of being charming is the ability to use humor in an intelligent manner.
I have a light heart and a humorous nature about me. It was lost for a while but once I found it again, the love of my life was waiting for me with open arms. No more are the days of solely deep intellectualism and trying to make a woman fall in love with my brooding, self-serving, intellectual yet kind self.
Ask any woman what they want in a man. Then ask the same woman what are absolute traits than a man “must” have. If humor isn’t one of them, she is lying through her teeth or has yet to experience a charming, witty and humorous man in her life. That will probably be the reason why she is still single and you are talking to her.
Introduce a little charm and humor. It never fails. However if it does, the alternative is just to become filthy stinking rich. Then you can ignore all my words and buy you “perfect 10” model girlfriend and live happily ever after.
So what’s easier? Being ourself and introducing a little charm, wit and humor to a woman? Or is it easier to acquire a fortune and give access to your bank routing number and credit cards to a woman? Also ask, what is more sustainable for a relationship, wit or acquiring wealth; the kind of wealth that makes a person oversee and put up with any and all imperfections. So I invite all men to go and be the judge of what the best and most authentic approach is.
Remember, “Girls just want to have fun!”
Author: Adam Wilkinson