Perfect doesn’t exist. There is no such creation in the world that exemplifies perfection. Perfection is also in the eye of the beholder. What is perfect to one person might be imperfect to the next.
Our own imperfections also often lead to our on insecurities.
We may feel insecure about a certain aspect of our appearance or a personality trait in which we carry. Our insecurities make us feel uncomfortable, yet they also make us feel more human.
I have many insecurities. Some days they manifest themselves more than others. Some days I feel insecure about how my hair looks or how I look wearing certain clothes.
Some days I worry about my performance at work, how well I am handling my relationships with the people I care about and so many different aspects of my life.
It all boils down to a simple truth. We as humans are not perfect. We all carry imperfections and insecurities. The reality is how we showcase both our imperfections and insecurities.
There is something mysterious about the self-perceived imperfections of another. I often find myself drawn to, or attracted to an imperfection my partner feels she had when I am with her. What attracts me the most is that my partner trusts me and feels comfortable displaying her perceived imperfection. In a sense, it strengthens our bond and connection.
I also should mention that there is a fine line however between allowing someone in to our self-perceived imperfections and shoving it in our faces. The more subtle approach, more attractive and appealing it is to me. It’s a sign to me that my partner feels comfortable letting her guard down around me and understand that I will not pass judgement.
I spent time with a beautiful girl once. She’s the type of girl that if a guy sees her on the street and makes eye contact with her, he would be stopped in his tracks. This girl oozed with confidence on top of this, however she had a thick shell that was tough to break through; a rough exterior, but pure beauty on the inside once her shell was cracked to match her outward appearance.
Out of respect for her identity and her self-perceived imperfection/insecurity, I won’t go in to too deep of details, but she felt insecure about a part of her body. Even after securing a deep trust and connection with limitless boundaries, she still had feelings of discomfort exposing this one part of her body.
As time continued, her guard came even further down. She would subtly try to avoid “showcasing” what she felt to be an imperfection on her body.
After a little longer, she felt more comfortable around me and exposing her “imperfection.” I began to become attracted to her perceived “imperfection.” I admit, it turned me on in many ways; physically and emotionally.
As physically appealing to the eye she was all-around, I felt more attracted to her when she had her guard down and accepted the flaw she felt she had.
It was that trust she had for me, the secure feeling that I honored the entirety of her body and soul. It made my feelings grow exponentially for her because let her guard down and was comfortable opening up to me. In return, it allowed me to let my guard down and feel secure to display my own self-perceived imperfections. To be able to share that level of trust and understanding intensified our chemistry towards each other; physically and emotionally.
Insecurities are a bit different.
We all have things and aspects of our lives that make us feel insecure. Insecurity differs in a way because most of us find insecurity less appealing. We often label that as a lack of confidence.
While men and women or individuals in general may differ on prioritizing what attracts us, I feel it safe to say that confidence is a big turn on for both men and women alike.
How we display and handle our own insecurities says a great deal about the type of person we are. How we choose to accept the insecurities of others may be as equally telling.
I feel for both genders, insecurity is a bit of a turn off, however the irony is that we all have insecurities, it is simply how we expose our insecurities that can totally turn someone off or on to a potential partner.
To accept and be accepted for a self-perceived “imperfection” has worked for me to help a relationship grow stronger and have more meaning.
The tricky part is being able to separate what we perceive to be a self-perceived imperfection versus an insecurity. Furthermore, how deep is the insecurity? Can we accept the level of insecurity?
We are all human after all. We all have different aspects of the human body and soul that attract us and for various reasons. Fully exposing ourselves to someone is the ultimate sign of trust. That trust can be a foundation for a beautiful connection and relationship.
When we are able to accept and embrace our partners imperfections, it’s diminishes much of the insecurity associated with it. When insecurities begin to diminish or disappear, what we are left with is a stronger trust and foundation for a beautiful connection, one that touches the mind, heart, body and soul.
Author: Adam Wilkinson
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