I have had my three great loves. They were spread out over a fifteen year span.
I have even labeled my three great loves: the one that never was, the one that got away, and the one that had me at hello.
Many people have claimed this statement, in fact it was even quoted in a movie, (from a males perspective) “You’re only allowed three great women in your lifetime.” ~ A Bronx Tale.
Three great loves. It’s hard to fathom and even harder to accept if we believe it. However I believe it, and at such a young age, I have already crossed paths with my “three great women.”
The first never was. In fact, she was my best friend growing up. From sixth grade all the way until a few years after our college graduations I was madly in love with this girl.
Yet there was a major complication. We were best friends, which turned out to be a conflict of interest.
We flirted from time to time, and the farthest we ever got was one kiss.
Yet that kiss hooked me in. I held on to those feelings for almost five years before expressing my emotions. When I finally came clean about my feelings, it was a disaster. It lead to the eventual finality of our friendship.
She did not have the same intimate feelings for me that I did for her. We never spoke again because It was just too painful for both of us.
It hurt that she didn’t share the intimate feelings I had for her and it hurt her to hurt me. She saw me more as a brother than a potential lover. So we moved on.
A few years passed, a half dozen or so flings and flawed relationships until another amazing woman entered my life; the one that got away.
Perhaps the strongest feelings I have ever had for a girl because they were reciprocated. It was my first experience with true love. We loved each other hard. We were both so passionate, so similar in every way.
We were born introverts, shared many common interests such as cooking, traveling, boats, the ocean, a love for learning, self-improvement, and so many more aspects.
To date, this was perhaps the strongest physical attraction I have ever shared with another girl. Even though we were so alike in many ways, it was the fierce physical chemistry we shared that made this woman so special. We were passionate about expressing our intimate passion with each other. Everything else was just icing on the cake.
We could not keep our hands off each other. Making love went leaps and bounds beyond anything I have ever experienced previously. She opened my eyes to what true physical intimacy should be about. Intimacy that included using all of our senses, emotions and forging a spiritual connection.
Yet she got away. The timing was not right. She eventually needed time to be alone and do her own things. She wasn’t ready to settle down. She slipped through my fingers, but before she did, she taught me more about how to love and express my love, communication, than any and all other relationships combined before her.
That is the greatest compliment I can pay her. Not a day goes by I do not think about her and how much I grew during that magical year we spent together.
My last great woman caught me off guard. She caught me when I least expected it, when my guard was down. I was blindsided by fate.
She found me out of the blue and connected with me as we were once neighbors at a very young age.
She took a chance. She messaged me and I responded.
Days of conversations lead to weeks which lead to months. Love developed quick in this relationship and I have never been happier or more excited to be in the company of my greatest love.
The physical and emotional chemistry is equal to and surpasses in many ways my previous “great one.“
Our interests are mutual, the desire to grow together is shared and the timing is right.
We also experienced the rare phenomena of love at first sight. We had weeks of anticipation talking and sending pictures of each other before we finally meet. When we did meet, it was instantaneous love. This has lead to a rapid development of our love and relationship.
We plan and follow through with our desires towards and for each other. We follow through with our individual lives and goals, how, when and where we will met in the middle and share our lives together.
Some may doubt or even question whether we get three great loves.
Some may feel like fate will only hand us one great lover that we are destined to be with. Some might argue that love is infinite and we can fall in love over and over again with no boundaries and no limitations.
I’ve had strong feelings for other girls in-between my three great women, however when I stack them up and place them side by side in my mind and heart, no other woman has surpassed these three.
That’s how I know it has been love each time. The previous two have withstood the test of time. Some girls have hooked me deep, but not to the level of full blown feelings of being in love.
My current love feels right. Every aspect feels right. All the pieces have fallen in to place. My heart feels secure in its position and there’s no one I’d rather plan my life with or around.
If we have found love, we are fortunate. Even my two failed loves I still treasure and small pieces of my heart remain with them. Currently my heart, physical and emotional being are with a girl who wants it, deserves it and has earned it.
Love is so beautiful. To be limited is such a shame, but there seems to be truth to the notion that we get three chances to find true love regardless of our gender.
Time if finite. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but we have to be honest with ourselves. Which do we want? Do we fish for a million minnows or that rare catch that envelopes us with unfounded emotions?
Some people are happy fishing in the sea forever, catching many fish and letting them go. That is a perfectly acceptable lifestyle to live if we so choose it. Yet still some of us choose to be patient and wait for that one great tug on the line; the great catch. How many of those can we realistically catch, and furthermore, how willing are we to let one go once we have caught it?
After that, we may end up settling for a love that is less than perfect because we don’t want to be alone.
Is that really true love? “A famous Latin saying states, “Omni trium perefectum ~ everything that comes in three’s is perfect.” So I hold on tightly to the one who made me fall in love at first sight.
All of the other loves prepared me for this love and this moment.
I still cherish and respect my first two loves but the third time is proving to be a charm, and a gift from fate.
Author: Adam Wilkinson
Recommended read: Why I never close the Door on Love; The Value in Re-Dating an Ex.